To start, we need to ask ourselves why we’re doing what it is we’re doing in each role of our lives. From that, we can create our personal constitutions or ‘reason for being’ in each role (the French call it “raison d’être”). Then we choose to commit to our reasons for being by working hard, focusing, and bouncing back from the inevitable short-falls and misses.

Crossing the Line…

At work is a choice to commit to serving, encouraging, and supporting other people (comfortably and uncomfortably*) – customers and colleagues.

As a leader is a choice to commit to serving, developing, and inspiring other people (comfortably and uncomfortably*).

As a teammate (colleague) is a choice to commit to contributing your talents and strengths to a team and its objectives above anything else.

As a parent is a choice to commit to developing a child into a contributing and caring adult (one that can also Cross the Line).

As a spouse is a choice to commit to caring deeply for your partner – encouraging them, supporting them (comfortably and uncomfortably*), to give and to accept love (care).

As a friend is a choice to commit to another person in the give and take of enjoyment and care.

As a student is a choice to commit to learning in order to contribute more to the world and enjoy more from the world (and Cross the Line yourself).

As an athlete is a choice to commit to giving your best possible effort to the sport you play – to continual development, intensity, and perseverance. 

On the field is a choice to commit to giving your best possible effort to the game at hand.

In the gym is a choice to commit to giving your best possible effort to each exercise you engage in (no going through the motions and never seeing a result).

With your faith is a choice to commit to living it completely (not selectively).

In truth is a choice to commit to complete honesty without omission, regardless of consequences (comfortably and uncomfortably*).

You Cross the Line to Be 212.
You Cross the Line to Be a Smover.
You Cross the Line to Be SalesTough.
You Cross the Line to Love Your People.

What does it mean to Cross the Line in your world? To what are you choosing to commit?

* Comfortably and uncomfortably: Comfortable is the easy and more enjoyable in the short run. Uncomfortable is the challenging and sometimes better approach in the long run (not necessarily always, though). Uncomfortable is illustrated in the video clip below.

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“The really important kind of freedom involves attention, and awareness, and discipline, and effort, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them, over and over, in myriad petty little unsexy ways, every day. That is real freedom. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default-setting, the “rat race” — the constant gnawing sense of having had and lost some infinite thing.”

David Foster Wallace
American writer
from his commencement speech in 2005

“All right, let’s bring it home. If you was hit by a truck and you were lying out in that gutter dying… and you had time to sing one song, huh? One song people would remember before you’re dirt. One song that would let God know what you felt about your time here on earth. One song that would sum you up… you telling me that’s the song you’d sing?

Or would you sing something different? Something real, something you felt?”

Sam Phillips talking to Johnny Cash
from the film Walk the Line (2005)

The clip…

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).

Be a Smover.

“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)
Irish playwright and critic

Your words move others. Your words move you.

Let yours send everyone in the right direction.

To be ComplainLess…

1. Be aware. Recognize your typical paths to complaining – what (who) sparks your tendency to gripe. Minimize your exposure to them (eliminating those ’sparks’ altogether may not always be realistic or the best thing). Know that your grumbling is a complete waste of energy.
2. Be thankful. Regularly reflect on all the good in your life (people, opportunities, things). Understand and enjoy how lucky you really are. Be entitled to nothing.
3. Pause before you begin. Clip a complaint as you feel it coming. Put a smile or thoughtful statement in its path. Blame no one. Blame nothing.
4. Be accountable. Focus on solving problems rather than having them (especially with customers). Set the example for others and recommit when you slip. Care for yourself and create a positive habit.

Simple. More enjoyable for everyone. Let’s Smove.

“If you have not slept, or if you have slept, or if you have headache, or sciatica, or leprosy, or thunder-stroke, I beseech you by all angels to hold your peace, and not pollute the morning… Love the day.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)
American writer and activist

Need a ComplainLess™ reminder wristband?

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).

If you’re new to management, maybe you’ll have to stick your finger in the light socket a few times before you trust that it’s not a good idea to wish* someone in to your organization. Or you can consider this thought as a little jump start to getting it right and saving yourself time, money, and pain – sooner the better.

Here’s a simple approach to maximizing your chances of hiring a true Smover (one who Smiles & Moves). You could use any book or short material (short is the key) that best fits the type of attitude you’re looking for but here, we’ll be using Smile & Move because it’s fairly comprehensive in its coverage of a service-oriented attitude.

After the first interview…

If you feel like you’ll have the person back for a second interview, give them a copy of Smile & Move and ask them to read it before the next visit. Because it’s no more than a 20-minute-read, it shouldn’t be a problem for your next superstar.

“I enjoyed talking with you today. I’d like to have you back to talk again and also to have you meet with some other people. Is the opportunity still something you’d like to pursue?”

If yes, set up a time or agree that you’ll follow-up to set up a time and then…

“Here’s a book we enjoy here. It’s called Smile & Move. Quick read, 20 minutes tops. Do me a favor and read it over before we meet again and we’ll discuss it a little, okay?”

Now, pay attention to the response. Is the person excited, indifferent, or put off? It’s probably an unusual request so an excited response might be unlikely. You’re really just looking for someone who might be put off by the request for the additional work. It’s probably not going to be the case because if you’re asking the person back, you’ve got a good feeling about him/ her. It’s just an added interaction to give you more information for your ultimate decision. Also, it gives your candidate more information about your expectations (and since you’re a Smover, your expectations are high). If they’re put off by it, perhaps they’ll decide not to proceed with the interview process and save everyone time. (If they want the book, let them keep it and perhaps you’ll have influenced something positive in their lives even if it takes them a year or two to realize it.)

At the next interview…

Ask them a few questions about their thoughts on the book and then listen (no leading, no prompting). Be the Smover you hope they’ll be and listen with both your ears and eyes (from Chapter 1, Being Awake). Be sure to remember the “gap of silence” idea as you listen**.

• What did you think of the book?
• What stood out to you?
• With which principle do you think you have the biggest challenge?
• With which principle do you feel strongest?
• Can you give me an example of when you last [insert strength point they gave]?
• Can you give me an example of when you [insert your favorite Smovish principle]?
• What did you disagree with? Why?

Hopefully, you’ll have an engaged person in front of you and won’t need to ask the reasons for their answers. They’ll simply expand on their own (a good sign). If not, you can always follow with “Why?”.

Again… listen without prompting, leading, or interrupting. You will learn so much more about the person (which is what you want because you’re trying to decide on something that may be very important to the future of your organization… and if you’re lucky, you might be sitting across from a future leader in the company… maybe even the future president… and you can be the one who started it all… not bad, Smover.)

You’re looking for truth. One way to prompt it is to share with your candidate where you’re challenged in Smoving and give a quick example. Opening up to them may help them feel more comfortable opening up with you. Still though, in order to gauge their sincerity, watch as you listen.

“My toughest challenge is being approachable. Maybe having a more of a sense of urgency, too. Sometimes I don’t remember that people are just as busy as me and I need make sure I act with that in mind.”

If you don’t like all the answers, it doesn’t mean they might not be a strong hire (perhaps they’re coachable**). Again, it just gives you more information about the person’s emotional development and attitude toward work.

Remember… Hiring someone who’s not a match has a negative impact on everyone. You want someone who’s service-oriented internally (with their colleagues) and externally (with your customers). You want a Smover.
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* To wish someone into your organization is to be lazy and avoid the potentially uncomfortable and more challenging truth. It’s a tennis metaphor. In a match, if your opponent hits a ball that you’ll have to run hard to get, you might be lazy and ‘wish it out’ instead of pushing it and trying to keep the ball in play.

** To make better connections with people (and learn much more), when you’re talking with someone be sure to allow a small gap of silence between what they say… and your response. This will help people know you are truly listening. (Remember: a breath is not always taken at the end of a sentence or thought.)

*** If you want someone who’s coachable, make sure at some point you ask them if they feel they’re coachable. Almost everyone will say they are. If that’s what you’re looking for, be sure to let them know that’s an important quality of being a member of your organization, group, or team. Someone who’s not coachable can make things very difficult on everyone. If you want to take it a step further and you’ve notice something during the interview that you can coach them on (something small because you likely don’t have much of a high-trust relationship yet), give them your thought and see how it’s received. “For example, I’ve notice you tend to interrupt/ say the word ‘like’ frequently/ seem distracted.” (More thoughts and an 8-point check on your coachability)

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).

Be a Smover.

Be a Smover.

With everything, there’s a line.

On one side of the line is a greater chance to give more, enjoy more, realize more. On the other side, there’s less of a chance.
 
And with each line, there’s a choice. You want to cross the line or you don’t. You want the better chance at meaningful – opportunity – impact – or you settle with the lesser chance.
 
Your choice.

It seems simple but…

Then there’ll be those times. Those times when in the short run it’ll seem like you can’t cross the line (no matter what you do). But then, those misses (those hurdles) in the short run will sometimes help you over the line in the long run (in a way you couldn’t have seen). They’ll serve as lessons, giving you more depth to your experience.
 
But you won’t know that at the time.
At the time, you’ll just see that line.
And it might seem like a wall.
But it really is just a line (a line you want to cross).
And it’s yours to cross but you have to decide (make that choice).

It seems simple but…

Then there’ll be those people. Those people who’ve decided they’d rather not cross the line and would prefer you didn’t either – sprinkle in a little doubt, withhold a little encouragement, step in the way.

Then there’ll be that inner voice. That inner voice that’ll remind you you’re not that special and things like that are for other people. (What are you thinking?)

Then there’ll be the work. The work that’ll be the real challenge that some people never face because of the false challenges from those times, those people, or that inner voice that keep us from trying (and bouncing back).

But there’s the line.
And it needs to be crossed.
And you can cross it.

It’s up to you.
 
(Which side will you choose?)

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How to Cross the Line…

1. Choose to commit. Make the choice to improve your chances to go beyond mediocrity. Approach the things you do with the intent to deliver / succeed / serve.
2. Work hard. Good things are rarely easy (cheap). Real effort and attention are the fundamentals behind everything. (There are no quick fixes.) Earn your results.
3. Focus. Eliminate distractions. Minimize exposure to negative people, thoughts, and things that don’t serve your intent.
4. Bounce back. Learn from your mistakes and challenges and remember your choice to cross the line.

Not easy, but simple. (And it needs to be done.)

Personal notes on Cross the Line

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).

Imagine a world without ego. No…

• Toes to step on
• Feelings to hurt
• Fair shares to grab
• Territory to defend
• Fault to allocate
• Back to watch
• Last words to get
• Ideas to hold back
• Embarrassment to bear

• Battles to win
• Knowledge to prove
• Entitlement to have
• Encouragement to withhold
• Credit to seek
• Grudges to hold
• Jealousy to feel
• Revenge to take
• Hidden meanings to construe

To be no ego…

1. Be humble. Understand you are a (small) part of the world. Service and patience should be your top priorities.
2. Be teachable. Focus on what you can learn, rather than what you know. Remember that almost everything you learn comes from the work of someone else.
3. Listen more. Make every effort to truly understand what others are saying (beyond just words). Allow a gap of silence before responding. Ask question (and listen, again).
4. Appreciate people. Enjoy others’ contributions. Don’t squelch ideas or defend territory. Encourage more.
5. Relax. Let go of the need to be right or win every time.

Nothing complex. So what do you say? You up for it?

Speak no ego. Be no ego.™

(let’s make the world a better place)

Get the Be No Ego pocket card.

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).

Here, I’ll be sharing different thoughts and ideas that I’m hoping will help all of us (including me) care more about the people around us – to wake up, connect, serve, and enjoy each other more (wherever we are).

You’ll be in on it (I hope).

It won’t be formal. No fluffy love. No rainbows and sunsets. And, it’ll be uncomfortable at times.

We’re after truth, awareness, and accountability (no going through the motions, no busywork, no sleeping through our days).

We’ve let too much get between us (each other) and why we’re here. We’ve allowed ourselves to slip into a state of busy distraction. Nothing new, really. I’m sure this has been a feeling in each generation that’s gone before. A tough tide to change but I can’t think of anything more important to give our attention to (attention: where everything begins).

I’m not sure where we’ll end up but I’m know we’ll be better for it in the long run.

- Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790)
  American statesman, scientist, and printer

luck: noun: a force that makes things happen

You want more luck? Be the force that makes it happen…

1. Prepare. Work hard to be ready for the opportunities that are important to you. Research. Practice. Perfect.
2. Be awake. Pay attention to the people, events, and things around you. Evaluate logically and trust your gut instinct.
3. Take action. Put yourself out there. Explore. Be vulnerable. Make contact with people. Take risks.
4. Expect positive results. Optimism improves your chances. If (when) you fail, embrace the lesson and continue on, smarter.

That’s it. Now go be lucky (and do something).

Get the Be Lucky pocket card.

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Copyright © 2010 by Give More Media Inc. This was written by Sam Parker. If you’d like to tell people about it somewhere (e.g., blog, newsletter, Facebook, social media), please reference Sam Parker of GiveMore.com as the author and link directly to the article. Excerpts are great but please don’t publish the article in its entirety without advanced written permission (email Sam using the address at the bottom of this page).